These past couple months, I have been being stretched, and
ripped apart, sewn back together, to be crumpled in a different way, and
uncrumpled again. An ebb and flow
of highs and lows. But, I have
been growing in having a level of peace through it all. I won’t even try to pretend that the
level of peace was always high.
But deep in my gut, even at the worst, there has been something of
knowing, feeling God wooing me.
Experiencing His love in new ways.
God inviting me to trust him in a deeper way with my worries, fears, and
longings.
I LOVE life here.
In some things, it’s been needed to “be” instead of “do.” Quite frankly, I really do think
sometimes we all need to learn to “be.”
And as challenging as it is sometimes to just “be” instead of “do, do,
do,” I’ve needed to just kick myself to recognize what good is sprouting out of
the Being that I’ve been Doing.
Some people find it difficult to understand how I can be both an
introvert and a social worker. And
being more introverted at times lends itself to taking longer to develop
relationships, etc. That’s alright
with me because I see the benefits of it too. But being introverted also lends itself more easily (at
least for me) to being comfortable with silence. What I adore most about my position here is visiting with
people. Spending time with them.
Not everyone is interested in talking. Sometimes just showing up and sitting in silence is
enough. Some are eager to talk and
their thoughts and stories pour out.
And sometimes if you’re willing to give the silence just a little more
time, the stories start to be told bit by bit—stories about husbands being
murdered, and parents dying, being abused by husbands or other family
members, their children committing crimes, illnesses, and struggling with the
realities of poverty.
We all have our own stories. As I have walked alongside and learned more of the stories
of people I have met here, I have been humbled that others are willing to start
trusting me with these parts of themselves, and I have also been reminded of
parts of my own story. It’s in
trying to make sense of the pieces at times that God has shown me so very
clearly how He has intricately moved through all of these things. How he mourns and also rejoices along
with us. And given that some of
this thing we call life is pretty heavy, this month I recognize that I’ve been
blessed to receive extra doses of awareness and consciousness of God’s love and
the fun and joy that exists too—it’s come through things like joking with
co-workers, dancing in the living room with my 8 year old brother, my host
dad’s ridiculous story-telling, moto rides through the most glorious
countryside I have ever seen (SPLENDOR is the word that comes to mind),
laughing with moms I work with, humbling gifts of eggs and guandules, talking,
and playing.
And I really, honestly, wouldn’t change a thing.
Here's some glimpses into where I get to go and what I do...
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| There is nothing like riding on the back of a moto |
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| Heading for the campos with Angel... |
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| Some of the Gorgeous views I get to see. |
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| My favorite part of my job. |
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| Loving on some sweet babies. |
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| I know I look lost... I'm not. I promise :) |
