Thankful

I was hoping to get a blog post posted before November ended, but I had the chance to get away for a couple days after Thanksgiving. When you're in the midst of a busy season and an opportunity arises for a breather- you take it. 

That chance for a getaway included spending a night with the Wildes- a family of precious people and one of my most dearest friends- who were spending the night in Santiago- about 5 hours from San Juan on Friday night. So after finalizing photos and letters at the Eastern school in Santo Domingo that morning, Wellington and I headed north. It is amazing what even a short time with "your people" can do.  

Yesterday was a pretty important day regarding legalizing my status here in the DR so instead of making two trips to the capital within 5 days, after saying farewell to the Wildes, Wellington and I spent a few days with aunts, uncles, and cousins that we don't see too often. I love seeing the joy on Welly's face and faces that look so much like his when they reunite. Normally, when we see them it is just passing through, so to have a couple days to just "be" really was special (awkwardness included).  Plus I got some firsts in- first time in rollers, first time with a grocery bag tied on my head as my rain cap-- after an afternoon at the salon, hair protection is of highest importance I've learned. :)

I love Thanksgiving, so it felt extra special this year to have Stacy Potter organize a feast for us, everyone adding something, and truly celebrating community and the importance of gratitude. A few weeks ago I celebrated 4 years of life in the Dominican Republic, and I am truly grateful for my life here with all its ups and downs. Ministry-wise I love seeing how the Child Nutrition and Student Sponsorship Programs have grown and have become more organized in the services we provide and in honoring and respecting the families with whom we work. Personally, what's not to celebrate about almost 11 months of marriage with my favorite guy?! But too, for me it's been a time to realize (again) that I have been dealing with chronic health problems for nearly 5 years now. It's been a new journey of mourning some of the losses associated with that, and also of growing gratefulness for the many abilities that I do still have, as well as, the wonderful family and friends that support me. I continue to learn about how to be kinder to myself which also leads to me being more present with others and continue to reprocess layers of "Is God Still Good When Bad Things Happen?" so that the knowledge continues to replant even more deeply into my heart.

Two situations that have been especially on my heart in November related to that same theme have to do with 15 year old Jenny and a dear 3 year old girl from the CNP.  Jenny is (was) a sponsored student at CCED. One of the several students out of the over 1,000 that we work with that just always stuck out to me. I learned this fall that she had fallen backwards out of a tree and landed in a life-changing way. She is currently paralyzed from the neck down, fed through a feeding tube, and only able to communicate through laughter and crying and blinking her eyes. I got the chance to visit her two weeks ago, and there aren't words fitting to describe it other than to say that it felt like I was on holy ground. Her family is doing an amazing job of caring for her, seeking medical care, loving her, and continuing to pick on her like they always have. Tremendously sad situation and, too, there is a beautiful thing happening in the midst of tragedy that I got to be witness to.

I met the 3 year old and her mother last Wednesday in El Cercado after having heard some of their story from Dr. Jazmin. The father committed suicide a year ago and the family is grieving hard. The once lively 3 year old is now stoic and withdrawn and making comments that no 3 year old should even know to say. It HURTS to see and hear their pain. I know that God holds them close as well. Tomorrow I will be starting an ongoing therapy journey with them, and I could use some prayers for that as well.

There is bitter in the sweet of life, and a sweetness mixed in with the bitter. It doesn't all make sense, and with time I've stopped wrestling so hard with the whys. I am learning and re-learning that the best thing to do is just keep bringing it all to God and trusting and resting in Him while praising even in the midst of the storms, and Repeat.

*I am currently approximately two-thirds funded for 2016. If you are interested in donating to my financial support, donations can be made either online at www.solidrockinternational.org or by sending a check to Solid Rock International with "Laura" in the memo line to PO Box 20867, Indianapolis, IN 46220.  I'm happy to share more details with you if you'd like to email me at ljdemastus@gmail.com.  All donations are tax deductible.

Being Real

Writing the October Newsletter for the Child Nutrition Program (check it out HERE), I was reminded again that this, THIS, is what I love about working here. Working to advocate for these families that I have come to care about, to encourage them in their journeys, to support Dominicans in caring for one another. The system is broken here, much like there are broken systems in the United States. This is part of the desire of my heart as a social worker and also as a Christian- to not shy away from working within the broken systems, trying to take the steps possible to heal and regroup what is broken; Seeking out those that are falling through the cracks, because everyone, EVERYONE, deserves a chance. A small ray of light to keep pushing through. It may sound corny and simplified, but it really does boil down to that. Celebrating the small victories even in the midst of big storms. Because if we don’t seek out those victories to celebrate, we risk losing our very selves in the process. 

So I celebrate Angelita with her new found confidence and Arianny with her strides to strengthen her family. I celebrate Micini and his mother who searched for support, knowing that although they are no longer with us, that she has shown the skills to survive and care for her son in the past, and we trust that she will do this again wherever they may find themselves right now.

Pictures and letters and sponsor visits are happening now that the school year is rolling along. I love watching team members with such heart make the decision to sponsor a student, believing in the power of education, meeting their students and providing another face that says “I believe in you.”  Such powerful words.

Sometimes, in the midst of celebrating those small victories for others, and encouraging others to look back on what has gotten them through a past struggle as a way to capitalize on their strengths in overcoming this current battle, I forget to do that for myself. 

Why is it so easy to do that? Why is it that we try to hide our hurts from one another? It’s true that not everyone will understand; that sometimes we will get hurtful responses rather than helpful ones. It's also true that being real does something good for our souls. It’s true that being here, being a “missionary,” sometimes makes me feel like I need to pretend to be something and someone I am not. I’m Laura. Plain and simple. I love Jesus like crazy and yet sometimes still struggle to trust Him. I am passionate about strengthening families and working towards wholeness and sometimes I forget to practice what I preach. I am in a challenging season of life even as I celebrate being a newlywed. We are dealing with paperwork and immigration issues, lack of consistent work for my husband, miscarriage, family health concerns, and the challenge of living with "invisible illness," to name a few. I don’t always handle that well. I’m struggling and sometimes feel guilty about it. And that’s okay too. I can be passionate about my job, love my husband, and have a heart that’s hurting right now too. They don’t cancel each other out. I will continue to cry out to God and Trust that He hears me. I will continue to praise him. He is the God who Sees us and Hears us. Whose heart mourns with ours, and who gives us Strength. Who calls us to a Hope and Peace that is beyond our understanding. I might need a reminder of that again tomorrow (or even in 15 minutes), but I KNOW it to be TRUE.

Remembering to Celebrate

A little bit of randomness to wrap-up the month of June:

Earlier this month, Dr. Jazmin and I scheduled a community "charla" (interactive health talk) for our CNP moms in the town of Derrumbadero. Scheduling this looked like a random home visit to a family, during which we saw what a nice, big, shady patio area they had at their house and asking if we could hold a little activity for the following week. Mom said "Of course!" and promised to invite the neighbors. We told two other CNP moms in the area as well and asked them to invite other women. We were set for Wednesday, June 9th for 1:30pm so that we could start at 2pm. We had no idea or way to know how many people would show up, but we hoped for the best.

That Wednesday, Dr. Jazmin, her niece, and I rolled in at 2:15pm. There were 2 women sitting in the yard. Keeping my disappointment to myself, I joined them and we sat and talked about life for awhile. Would anyone come? Was this going to be a complete bust?? 2:30pm arrived and then one by one and two by two, more women started to arrive. We ended up with a group of 28(!) adults and many little bitties. How's that to prove me wrong?!

We spent the next hour or so clearing up common myths about breast cancer-- one of the  common held beliefs in this area is that moms can pass cancer to their babies by breast feeding. We talked about the importance of early detection, about breast self exams, and with the great educational tools we received from the ONU team in May (Thanks Laurie and Robin!), women could practice "detecting" various sized lumps in a breast model. The level of engagement and interest was inspiring and made my social worker heart smile. We continue to get asked when we're coming back to talk about other topics!

Love spending time with Cora

A random, funny and all-to-common Dominican experience happened on Friday as Cora and I were outside of El Cercado visiting Willy's family. A neighbor asked if she could throw "a sack" in the back of our truck for us to take farther down the road. We, of course, obliged, and as we waited that "one sack" turned into 7 children, 1 adult, and a pile of bags to fill up the bed of the truck. There was "a sack" in the mix, so I'll give the woman credit for that. Anything goes! :)

Life definitely has its twists and turns and there have been many struggles lately leaving me tired and questioning, and craving rest and refreshment. One of these struggles has been the hard realization of the implementation of the Dominican government's "regularization of citizenship" which has left many Dominicans of Haitian ancestry and many Haitians without a place to call home. There are many heated views on this ruling, both here in the DR and world-wide. Close to home in practical terms for the CNP, this has meant that our Haitian families have gone into hiding, thereby pausing the support that we are able to offer their children; children in various stages of malnutrition, some who were making fantastic progress and others who were struggling. Children who deserve to have a chance in life. We pray that they are okay and find sources of support if they are unable to return to our program. It is another reminder for us to be faithful and vigilant in what is within our power to do (in all things, but especially justice issues), and for the rest to continue to pray and trust in God's hands.

My dad is facing cancer again. It's his 3rd bout, and with several heart attacks in his history as well, we're extra worried this time. His positive attitude inspires me. I give thanks for healing that has occurred in his body with past health issues. I give thanks for the healing that has happened in our relationship. and I pray that he beats it. He'll be receiving chemo for a few weeks until a new scan is done towards the end of July to see if the tumor has shrunk sufficiently for surgery. It's hard to be far away in times like these. We're in the process of figuring out when I will make the trip to PA. We're saddened that Wellington wasn't approved for a visa to travel with me this time.

Who wouldn't love working with these kiddos?!

Through it all, there are glorious things to celebrate as well. From little things like hearing my nieces and nephew laughing as I'm trying to take a nap at my mother-in-law's house yesterday and watching my dog hilariously hunt insects, to HUGE things like individuals becoming paramedics and bringing much needed first-response care to the San Juan community and friends finally receiving the documentation they need to "officially" move forward with their lives. JOY!

This month has been especially full. I hope that this at least gives you a glimpse into part of my life here. In all honesty, part of me hopes that July is less of a roller coaster, but I know that whether it is or it isn't, we will make it through, and it will be more easily navigated with eyes focused on what really matters. (Now if I can just remember that)  <3

When You're REALLY Not Looking Forward to Your Day

Yesterday my alarm rang at 4:30am and I begrudgingly rolled out of bed. By 5, I was in the truck and, in the darkness of that hour, headed to the capital. See, I had an appointment at the Embassy at 8am, plans to do an end-of-the-year wrap-up meeting at the Eastern school, hopes to get a document translated, a visit to the Ministry of Foreign Relations for a document stamp after paying the tax for this stamp at the bank, and shopping for sponsor gift supplies (with donated money that team members had left for that purpose) all before returning back to San Juan later that same day... and I was doing it all by myself.

It's a busy time of year here, which means that it just didn't work out for anyone to go with me this week. I admit that there may have been a bit of whining in Wellington's ear the night before, but I was also determined to follow-through on what I needed to do and when I knew I needed to do it, rather than put it off until someone else could help. (Do you ever tend to rely too much on others rather than step out in confidence, you and God together? I do. I'm working on it.) 

Have you ever had one of those days that you're just not looking forward to? or more than that, completely dreading?? Yesterday was a prime example of part of what God is working in me. As I poured my coffee into my travel mug before heading out the door, it hit me... as much as I was dreading the day, I was also overlooking the opportunities that existed within it as well. It might really be about being open to the possibilities, and choosing my attitude after all.  Gag, I thought. ;)

Sometimes, it's definitely not that simple, of course. But yesterday, yesterday turned out to be just that.  

The drive between San Juan and the capital is a gorgeous one, one that winds through such a mix of landscapes from fertile agricultural valley, to nearly desert-like landscape, mountains to flat plains, a glimpse of the ocean and so much more. As I drove past some of my favorite spots before the early morning light hit, I could only see dark shadows, and yet I knew the promise of beauty that those shadows held once the sun rose. 

How often in my life do I struggle in those dark shadows unnecessarily because I don't trust that beauty is coming? How humbled am I when I realize that with God in the mix, no matter the length of the darkness or level of shadows, a promised beauty IS on the horizon?

By the time I hit the stretch between Bani and San Cristobal and the sunlight was dancing on the tips of the waving sugarcane in the fields, my mood had significantly lightened. Now, the morning after this crazy day, I smile.... for lots of reasons.

My name is officially changed! Yes, there's still the follow-up work with all the various and random places I have accounts, etc, but now, through Social Security and a new passport, I have a new name. And the people that work at the Embassy really are pretty nice too.

I am encouraged time and again by the folks at the Eastern School in the capital. People with heart pouring into their students, families, and communities. We had a great wrap-up meeting, got some new pics of the students in their classes and at recess, and heard more about the new dental ministry that the church/school will be offering to the community. It's exciting stuff, and I'm so glad that SRI (and I) get to be a part of it!

The somewhat shady lawyer/translator that Nicole and I use for our legal documents, was actually in a good mood, and got my criminal background check translated within a half hour (unheard of!). The line at BanReservas where you have to pay the tax for the Dominican apostille was only 30 minutes long too, and then top it off with only! waiting another 30 minutes at the Ministry of Foreign Relations before walking out with stamped document in hand.

I'm currently in the process of getting my documents together so that this summer I can re-apply for a residency visa. Being married to Wellington should guarantee approval, but it is the same cumbersome, time-consuming and costly process.

So the timing of my day, may not sound overly exciting to you, but keep in mind that Nicole and I once waited 5 1/2 hours in just one office to get only one of the stamps we both needed on a couple of our papers. 5 1/2 hours.  And I had just gotten all of the above things completed in that same timeframe- spread from one side of the capital to the other. Cause to Celebrate!

View Leaving the Minstry of Foreign Relations

How does one celebrate, alone in the capital, you ask??? WENDYS. That's right. After pulling my second super parking job of the day, I settled into my table at Wendys with an Apple Pecan Grilled Chicken Salad. There were blue cheese crumbles, people. Blue Cheese Crumbles. I savored every. single. tasty. bite. and then satisfied, headed on my way.

A stop at Sirena (the Dominican Walmart) allowed me to pick up some fun sponsor gifts for our older students- like ear-bud headphones, books, art supplies, and other trinkets. Thank you to the generous folks that left money to pick up these items- we hope that the older students will feel particularly loved by receiving them from their sponsors.

I rolled back into San Juan just after 6pm, in time to catch the same scenery- the palms, the rice fields- enjoying some of their last moments of light for the day. Exhausted. And happy to be home...

Just a note on what else has been going on around here-- It's been a busy time! Check out the link here to learn about the Medical Operative that we enjoyed in the CNP last Saturday. We're also getting our information together to report on our first 6 months of our partnerships with Amway and the use of their NutriLite LittleBits products with our CNP little ones, and we're working to organize a "Community Charla" for our CNP families in Hondo Valle. The schools are starting to go into final exam mode and wrapping up the school year. We've had 50 new sponsorships (if I'm counting right) since the beginning of 2015- AMAZING! Kari, Nicole, Kamanda, and I got to share in an online women's retreat through Velvet Ashes and be reminded of important lessons on Releasing and Living Freely. We also had a team weekend in the gorgeous mountains of Jarabacoa- I rode a horse.  :)

In addition to me working on my visa paperwork, Wellington and I are also working on the paperwork for him to be approved for a visitor's visa so that he can meet more of my people in the states and see where I'm from. Getting approved is extremely difficult, so we know the odds aren't in our favor, but we still want to try. He will have his interview at the Embassy in June, and your prayers are appreciated. 

We are so thankful for all of your ongoing support of me, of us, of the ministry. Whew! It just means the world. Thank you.

When Life Just Is

I've been MIA on the blog front for a couple months and before more life passes by, I have sat down to check in.

I got married! TWICE! :)  (Many ministers here in the DR do not have the legal power to "officially" marry couples, so that means a civil ceremony with a judge for the legal paperwork and then a church wedding if the couple wants that too- which we did.) :) I was blown away by the love poured out on Wellington and I through words, encouragement, acts of service, prayers, and gifts during this time.  We thoroughly enjoyed our celebrations and also spending time with my family and friends that travelled from the states to join us.  So fun. So special. and SO glad that we agree that we never want to plan an event like that again! ;)  It was also especially meaningful for me to make the connection that it was 10 years ago in January 2005 that I first stepped foot in San Juan and felt that there was going to be more for me here, and now 10 years later in 2015, I was not only living and working here, but marrying my best friend. 

with my mom and sister

4 of my very best friends made the trip. HUGE.

and who could forget these awesome ladies..

As they say, the wedding is just one day-- or in this case, two ;) , but it's the day in, day out that makes a marriage. Wellington and I are happy to be on this journey with its twists and turns, and with a sense of humor, we are learning how to combine our lives. We each might be just a little more set in our ways than we originally thought! But the blending of lives and cultures and loves is BEAUTIFUL in all of its fun and messiness. And it's even MORE beautiful with God in the center of it.

My puppy is getting LARGE

There's been some more health struggles lately too. Chikengunya finally caught me and knocked me out for a bit, Wellington had a couple bouts with the flu, and I'm now just getting over Shingles. We're still praying that the job comes through for him, even as we are very thankful that he is loving his classes at the university this semester. All of these changes have messed with my head and heart a bit, too, if I'm being completely honest. Where and in what (or in whom) do I find my identity, both individually and as a couple? I am increasingly grateful for the support system that we do have that walk alongside us in the highs and lows of the journey of life, and yet sometimes I STILL hesitate to open up and lean into them in the ways in which I should, knowing that we truly were created for community and sharing the ups and downs of our journeys. We DO trust that God is at work. We desire that HE be glorified in and through it all.

Despite the health difficulties, work goes on! The end of February, I finished and submitted a grant application for the Child Nutrition Program. We won't find out until the beginning of 2016, but it was fun to dream about possibilities for growth within the program, to be in conversation with the other key players in the CNP about planning ways to meet our goals. And I realized how much I really kinda missed compiling data, report writing, and all that nerdy goodness that goes with it. It was good to evaluate our services and recognize areas for improvement, like better evaluating/tracking of our outcomes. Regardless of whether we get this grant or not, it is always great to define purpose and continue to provide services in partnership with the families in a way that respects who they are and the way that we want to represent God's love in our work. Our partnership with Amway in providing  micronutrients to CNP kids will also be an important way to follow their progress. I will be in no shortage of reports to write between monitoring these outcomes and quarterly newsletters! (Maybe I should take back expressing that wish to find ways to better "professionally" represent the important work that we do?!)

A round of meetings with the schools' principals renews my animo. It's been exciting to see them excited in thinking of the possibilities of what the upcoming increase in sponsorship rates will mean for their students and schools and the projects they have wanted to complete, such as computer labs, building projects, and music programs, but just haven't had the resources to get them done.

We had a uniquely special time with a group the other week. People who really get that the following of our hearts to be here and serve God here also means the readjustments of relationships back in the states, the saying of good-byes, the feelings of and/or fear of being forgotten. They reminded me of my worth in Christ, the perfectness of imperfect people striving towards community. There have been many, seemingly small, yet large in impact, moments over these several weeks with group members, with family and friends, with my husband, that I will treasure. 

When I quiet myself and my, at times, anxiety-ridden mind, I can hear the smooth harmony and feel the danceable rhythm that these highs and lows and ordinary moments are creating; the whole crazy, beautiful, bittersweetness, that is life.

La familia Rodriguez :)