Being Real

Writing the October Newsletter for the Child Nutrition Program (check it out HERE), I was reminded again that this, THIS, is what I love about working here. Working to advocate for these families that I have come to care about, to encourage them in their journeys, to support Dominicans in caring for one another. The system is broken here, much like there are broken systems in the United States. This is part of the desire of my heart as a social worker and also as a Christian- to not shy away from working within the broken systems, trying to take the steps possible to heal and regroup what is broken; Seeking out those that are falling through the cracks, because everyone, EVERYONE, deserves a chance. A small ray of light to keep pushing through. It may sound corny and simplified, but it really does boil down to that. Celebrating the small victories even in the midst of big storms. Because if we don’t seek out those victories to celebrate, we risk losing our very selves in the process. 

So I celebrate Angelita with her new found confidence and Arianny with her strides to strengthen her family. I celebrate Micini and his mother who searched for support, knowing that although they are no longer with us, that she has shown the skills to survive and care for her son in the past, and we trust that she will do this again wherever they may find themselves right now.

Pictures and letters and sponsor visits are happening now that the school year is rolling along. I love watching team members with such heart make the decision to sponsor a student, believing in the power of education, meeting their students and providing another face that says “I believe in you.”  Such powerful words.

Sometimes, in the midst of celebrating those small victories for others, and encouraging others to look back on what has gotten them through a past struggle as a way to capitalize on their strengths in overcoming this current battle, I forget to do that for myself. 

Why is it so easy to do that? Why is it that we try to hide our hurts from one another? It’s true that not everyone will understand; that sometimes we will get hurtful responses rather than helpful ones. It's also true that being real does something good for our souls. It’s true that being here, being a “missionary,” sometimes makes me feel like I need to pretend to be something and someone I am not. I’m Laura. Plain and simple. I love Jesus like crazy and yet sometimes still struggle to trust Him. I am passionate about strengthening families and working towards wholeness and sometimes I forget to practice what I preach. I am in a challenging season of life even as I celebrate being a newlywed. We are dealing with paperwork and immigration issues, lack of consistent work for my husband, miscarriage, family health concerns, and the challenge of living with "invisible illness," to name a few. I don’t always handle that well. I’m struggling and sometimes feel guilty about it. And that’s okay too. I can be passionate about my job, love my husband, and have a heart that’s hurting right now too. They don’t cancel each other out. I will continue to cry out to God and Trust that He hears me. I will continue to praise him. He is the God who Sees us and Hears us. Whose heart mourns with ours, and who gives us Strength. Who calls us to a Hope and Peace that is beyond our understanding. I might need a reminder of that again tomorrow (or even in 15 minutes), but I KNOW it to be TRUE.